Reverse culture shocks

So I have moved back to Kathmandu (more on my decision and excitement later). My journey from Qatar to Nepal was memorable in that I was already feeling like I am in Nepal. Here I was surrounded by people coming back. It was nice to see that people were going back. May be just for a little while or may be more, but it told me that people still believe in their country, believe in going back. 

But more eventful are the reverse culture shocks. I had to tell the passenger behind me to not to push my chair with his legs while he enjoyed his relaxed sitting position. Then it was simply strange to be stared at. This happened through the journey and even in the street I grew up in. There are new people in the street. Then there was also that time when my mom took me to distribution queue to put our name on the waiting list for LPG gas. Man there was no personal space. If you try to create one people will probably cut the line and occupy that space.

Then everything at home, well most of them, are smaller, older or more worn. Also, my mom wouldn't let me do the dishes because she feared I would use too much water. 

And, Kathmandu is really cold right now. Without the indoors heating system, I wonder how people manage to get work done. But again, it should be our second name, Resilient.

Message to my baby sister as she goes to college this fall

Hey, you made it! Congrats on beginning a new chapter in your life. College is going to be really cool and good for you and I am excited for you. You are going to be in a new place, new country. Hope you brought things that are a memory of your hometown. You will miss it. You will miss your friends and your family. You will miss the streets you walked. You will miss riding on your motor scooter around town. But there are going to be exciting things in store for you. I wish that you will become a wonderful learned women. There will be hardship but it will make you understand life a little better. 

As you step into the school, everything will look really cool. First day, week, and month, I hope you explore, talk to people and make new friends. Do not get intimidated and overwhelmed about being a stranger there. All freshmen will feel that way. Instead cherish new encounters, people and environment. Lend a helping hand to someone. Smile a little and if someone smiles back, introduce yourself. Discover your favorite spot on campus. Take your new friends there and talk about why you are in college. Talk about your aspirations and theirs. Get excited about each other’s future.

Study. Prepare. Have a daily schedule. Go to the gym every morning, that is, if you wake up early. Or even better, go swimming regularly, if there is a pool. You can even try to be an athlete and join the college swim team.

Again, study. I will sound just like your school-teacher, but finish your homework everyday. Then when you have time go out for a movie or dinner in your friend’s car. Ask questions in class. Make friends with your classmates and professors. Pick classes that you can handle. Or may be ones that are challengingly fun. Have a plan to graduate on time. Learn. Use the professor’s office hours to discuss assignments or readings. And yes, read. Do your chapter readings on time. That is the best way to stay engaged in the class. Also buy books online; it is way cheaper than the bookstore. Buy them ahead of time and read.

Join a club or a sports team early on. You will build a family there. Find what you really enjoy other than classes and do them. Stay warm in the winters. Stay happy. Embrace the fall, spring and summer. They are all unique and you will find something nice about each. Hope your first snowfall will be beautiful.

You might find it hard to get a part-time job. May be get into research and ask your professors if they could make you their research assistant. Discover what intrigues you and perseveringly follow that. Do not get dejected.You will find it hard to manage your time.  Again, schedule all the fun parts and difficult parts of your day wisely.

Do not get uncomfortable in the cafeteria. Offer a seat to someone or sit with anybody. Frequent the library and read your favorite books. Do your homework there and take naps in between.

Visit a friend's family. They will treat you as their own. Be frugal but treat yourself sometimes. Decorate your dorm room with string lights and pictures of your favorite moments, people and things.  Create a bulletin board to stay up to date with things. Keep a daily or weekly journal too. Write your goals in it for the day, week or month. Buy a microwave and snack on some popcorn when you feel like. Or make a Nutella and bread cake.  Also, go to camping events and have smores.  Explore the community around campus. Visit the nearest big city and spend a night there with friends.

May be save some money or find a scholarship to study abroad. Plan ahead and figure out when and where. Go to school parties and learn a move or two. Get to know your school. It is your new home. Go to sporting events and cheer for your college team. Go to socials, pizza parties, and others. 

Visit us, your cousins, now and then and call us if you need somebody to talk to. Call your mom and dad every now and then. Hope you will learn a lot and make the best of your college life.

Love,

Richa

P.S. this is probably not it, hope you find much more to do, learn, and become.

Sometime in the late nineties

Blurb on Home

January 13, 2014. Sometime between 7pm and 8pm at Kathmandu Airport.

I am okay. It was my decision and I am okay now. I got what I wanted. Now, it is time to move forward. I am a cleansed soul from all the world evils, all the problems that wreck me now and then, all the pettiness and lack-lustreness: that is what being home does to you. I am embracing all that a month long home time has given me with a firm handle on my emotions. I am not crying because I got what I wanted. 

Family, friends, pet doggies, well-wishers - they were so excited to see me and wish me well. All that support I am taking with me to face other challenges. That is what being home for a month does to you. 

You were missing it so much and now since you got what you wanted, it won't be nice to miss it even more. You'd rather get up and go on and wait for another time and place when it will feel like home. From here on, life will hopefully be roses and butterflies: because being home after so long does that to you

Random ways to act out your feminism

Female version

Enter the 'men's world' such as construction, engineering, transportation, politics and cunningly slide in policies and designs that come from the women's perspective, which is nothing dramatic because, yes we think of all genders, not just men.

Don't say anything to men who say women and men are not equal. (You secretly know that you are much much smarter, have you heard their conversations with each other?)

The one that everybody fears: Be so vocal about equality among the genders that you get death threats. Drink wine every day to pray for the haters.

Find a partner who actually appreciates you as just that, a partner, no gender versions and roles needed.

Love Malala.

Bring all women together towards ending gender-based violence, abuse, assault, attack, prejudice.

Get smart about how to help our world be equal, gender-wise, before you die.

Remember, it has been a struggle, but  what we have so far is an accomplishment (a lousy one. but still something). Always remember to take advantage of what you have.

Be independent. Help your other half in mowing the lawn or fixing that toilet.

If you have children, give them a non-gendered learning environment.

Women, be each other's support. Share wisdom and okay, fine, some DIY tips.


Male Version

Yes, do not expect your girl to cook for you just because your mom used to, instead of your dad.

Take both your son and daughter to that Packers game. Tell their school to have a co-ed  football team.

Love your uber feminist woman. Don't misinterpret feminism. It's not superiority, It's equality and creating an atmosphere for equal opportunity.

Do a favor and try not to call women 'Dumb'.

Never let her talk to you in a voice lower than she actually has.

Dress nice, cook, clean like she does, together.

You and your video-games: If you  are a family person or want to have one, please allocate certain times for it. (Probably only 0.000001% of your week.) Unless the whole family plays video-games 50% of their week.

Support her career and aspirations as much as she does for yours. Also, ask her how her work was just like she asks you everyday.

Be best friends with your sister.


Disclaimer: I am certainly not an expert. But this topic is sensitive to me, growing up in a society that is extremely male-dominated. Feel free to add in your own ways that help get the point across.

This blogpost was inspired by this video clip:

http://thecolbertreport.cc.com/videos/wr7hqq/gamergate---anita-sarkeesian