Message to my baby sister as she goes to college this fall

Hey, you made it! Congrats on beginning a new chapter in your life. College is going to be really cool and good for you and I am excited for you. You are going to be in a new place, new country. Hope you brought things that are a memory of your hometown. You will miss it. You will miss your friends and your family. You will miss the streets you walked. You will miss riding on your motor scooter around town. But there are going to be exciting things in store for you. I wish that you will become a wonderful learned women. There will be hardship but it will make you understand life a little better. 

As you step into the school, everything will look really cool. First day, week, and month, I hope you explore, talk to people and make new friends. Do not get intimidated and overwhelmed about being a stranger there. All freshmen will feel that way. Instead cherish new encounters, people and environment. Lend a helping hand to someone. Smile a little and if someone smiles back, introduce yourself. Discover your favorite spot on campus. Take your new friends there and talk about why you are in college. Talk about your aspirations and theirs. Get excited about each other’s future.

Study. Prepare. Have a daily schedule. Go to the gym every morning, that is, if you wake up early. Or even better, go swimming regularly, if there is a pool. You can even try to be an athlete and join the college swim team.

Again, study. I will sound just like your school-teacher, but finish your homework everyday. Then when you have time go out for a movie or dinner in your friend’s car. Ask questions in class. Make friends with your classmates and professors. Pick classes that you can handle. Or may be ones that are challengingly fun. Have a plan to graduate on time. Learn. Use the professor’s office hours to discuss assignments or readings. And yes, read. Do your chapter readings on time. That is the best way to stay engaged in the class. Also buy books online; it is way cheaper than the bookstore. Buy them ahead of time and read.

Join a club or a sports team early on. You will build a family there. Find what you really enjoy other than classes and do them. Stay warm in the winters. Stay happy. Embrace the fall, spring and summer. They are all unique and you will find something nice about each. Hope your first snowfall will be beautiful.

You might find it hard to get a part-time job. May be get into research and ask your professors if they could make you their research assistant. Discover what intrigues you and perseveringly follow that. Do not get dejected.You will find it hard to manage your time.  Again, schedule all the fun parts and difficult parts of your day wisely.

Do not get uncomfortable in the cafeteria. Offer a seat to someone or sit with anybody. Frequent the library and read your favorite books. Do your homework there and take naps in between.

Visit a friend's family. They will treat you as their own. Be frugal but treat yourself sometimes. Decorate your dorm room with string lights and pictures of your favorite moments, people and things.  Create a bulletin board to stay up to date with things. Keep a daily or weekly journal too. Write your goals in it for the day, week or month. Buy a microwave and snack on some popcorn when you feel like. Or make a Nutella and bread cake.  Also, go to camping events and have smores.  Explore the community around campus. Visit the nearest big city and spend a night there with friends.

May be save some money or find a scholarship to study abroad. Plan ahead and figure out when and where. Go to school parties and learn a move or two. Get to know your school. It is your new home. Go to sporting events and cheer for your college team. Go to socials, pizza parties, and others. 

Visit us, your cousins, now and then and call us if you need somebody to talk to. Call your mom and dad every now and then. Hope you will learn a lot and make the best of your college life.

Love,

Richa

P.S. this is probably not it, hope you find much more to do, learn, and become.

Sometime in the late nineties

How does it feel to be an F-1 student from a developing country?

Personally, I came to USA because I was tired of the conservative society. I thought I was better than most of my countrymen. Our ideologies didn’t match. Also, USA looked much more liberal. It looked like it was the right choice for me because I thought, maybe people there will think like me. This was my nineteen-year-old mindset.

Three years down the line, USA is no more that wondrous place that everybody wanted to fly to. It is normal than ever. Dull and exciting things happen here. I have grown a lot and seen how a developed world is functioning.  I have seen many of its perils and many of its glories. Nepal, my original country is now a symbol of escape. The very place I was so eager to leave has now become my major identity. It is now that little locked up heaven that I want to go back to when the time comes, for a little while or longer.

But I know the heaven is a quasi-heaven. I will be succumbing into the old ways and perils of a developing world. Still I miss the familial air. I know the roads will be dusty, crowded and noisy. I will be eve-teased like I used to ever since I was an adolescent. My relatives will ask me how much money I made in USA. They will think I am a fool to be pursuing liberal arts major.

There will be water shortage in the house and I will lose the luxury of spending hours in the bath. The electricity austerity program a.k.a Load-shedding will prevent me from my endless Facebook and twitter browsing.  I will be making tea for my dad at least twice a day; helping mom mop the floor so that it relieves her of knee pain.

But still there will be those hills that surround my city to wake up to. They look and smell even better after a night’s rain. There will be the little and big shops and stalls in every street that put forward many food options. The shopping stores allow for bargaining. The Newari food that’s unlike any will be savored.  Just being home, by someone who loves you so much could never be a bad option.  My dogs will be there to love me and to be loved.

I will probably work at a well-known intellectual company. I will meet all the knowledgeable people who care about Nepal genuinely. I will try to stay away from those who only want more money. I will hang out with people who care less about the money, but want to help the have-nots; be it by advocating for policy changes or by having their own non-profit organization.  I am still very naïve in regards to money. I loathe those whose sole aim is to stockpile money, but I understand where they’re coming from. They probably grew up disadvantaged and see the value of money. They might just want to have a good future for their kids.Or they want to live without struggle and enjoy their short time as a human being in basic comfort or luxury.

I will not get married, despite the pleas from my parents. I will do so when I feel like, or when I meet someone good. I will not care about the society that gossips about those who are unmarried. I will travel throughout the country.  I will meet and learn about what people less privileged than me value. I will learn from them and then bring my education into good use by helping them.

Teenage photography: Kalanki, Kathmandu

 I have valued my country more, now that I am away from it. So I want to go back and make it better someday. Only, I am a little afraid to jump to that route because the route I am in now is full of welcoming open doors.  Once I go through every door, I will go to my twisted but sweet heaven.

Personal mythbusting

It has been two years since I left Nepal for USA. I am not sure whether my age or my change of lifestyle has contributed to making me feel more grown-up than before. But being able to observe my country from far (kinda like Rose watches the Earth for the first time in Doctor Who ) and insurmountable internet access has brought light upon so many things for me. In fact, let me present to you the myths in my head (MMH):

1. There is no one (very very few people) in Nepal to help make it a better place.

Although this notion ignited in me the wish to contribute to Nepal's development, it is not true. Ever since I  started paying attention to non-profit organizations now that I was an International Studies major, I have become amazed at the national and international involvement there. Every other person is working with an NGO. There are many who have gone back after studying abroad and started up welfare/development projects.  For instance one of my earliest finds was a hospital built in Far-Western Nepal in the early 90s by foreign nationals.My ignorance could be  due the fact that I have been to only a few places out of Kathmandu. But even within Kathmandu, there are so many organizations. I know I should be aware of the Nepal's degree of dependency in international aid and it is one of my learning goals.

Thus, Nepal is cared for and Nepali people are making the best of it. I have to dig deeper into why the country is still lagging behind.

 2.  Politicians, Civil Society Workers are not well educated

They are! At least most of them. One of my other goals is to lead Nepal eventually. But I used to think there is no good going on in the bureaucracy and governance and I will bring the needed change. But there is. There are people like Kul Chandra Gautam who studied at Princeton and worked for UNICEF! Look how amazingly the Dixit's have contributed to the education and other social systems. I was a fool to underestimate the intellect of our leadership. Business Admininstration, Economics and STEM Graduates are in high demand in America. Why? Because they have received rigorous professional training as analysts, etc.  Now think of how popular these very majors are in Nepal. And I am sure there are hundreds of Economists out there in civil service. So, what is the problem? Is it that we rely too much on foreign experts for guidance?

3. Nepali people have less entrepreneurship skills.

What was I thinking? How could I have crossed out those fruitsellers' carts or  nanglo pasal ko didi (lady with the shop in a basket?) Or my friend's dad who used to get us gifts after his business trips to Hong Kong.

4. Students are not taught value education at school.

Well I know many schools have these classes and I have been a student in a school which was the best in this category. However, now that I am in America and am struggling through life as an independent student, I think of those mini-biographies and stories we read in our very own Hamro Nepali Kitab. Balkrishna Sama and Muna Madan taught us to keep going even when the going gets tough.  Dukhama na-atinu, sukha ma namatinu : I am trying to make this my mantra. We read about the life of BP Koirala and Kalidas. We read about Pasang Lamhu Sherpa and read that poem of innocence and instruction, "natipnu hera kopila, nachyatnu paapa lagdacha".

So, these are my discoveries and there are many more to come. I promise to keep researching and posting about them.


Jai Nepal (Yes, Call Kantipur style. That was a great program!)