How does it feel to be an F-1 student from a developing country?

Personally, I came to USA because I was tired of the conservative society. I thought I was better than most of my countrymen. Our ideologies didn’t match. Also, USA looked much more liberal. It looked like it was the right choice for me because I thought, maybe people there will think like me. This was my nineteen-year-old mindset.

Three years down the line, USA is no more that wondrous place that everybody wanted to fly to. It is normal than ever. Dull and exciting things happen here. I have grown a lot and seen how a developed world is functioning.  I have seen many of its perils and many of its glories. Nepal, my original country is now a symbol of escape. The very place I was so eager to leave has now become my major identity. It is now that little locked up heaven that I want to go back to when the time comes, for a little while or longer.

But I know the heaven is a quasi-heaven. I will be succumbing into the old ways and perils of a developing world. Still I miss the familial air. I know the roads will be dusty, crowded and noisy. I will be eve-teased like I used to ever since I was an adolescent. My relatives will ask me how much money I made in USA. They will think I am a fool to be pursuing liberal arts major.

There will be water shortage in the house and I will lose the luxury of spending hours in the bath. The electricity austerity program a.k.a Load-shedding will prevent me from my endless Facebook and twitter browsing.  I will be making tea for my dad at least twice a day; helping mom mop the floor so that it relieves her of knee pain.

But still there will be those hills that surround my city to wake up to. They look and smell even better after a night’s rain. There will be the little and big shops and stalls in every street that put forward many food options. The shopping stores allow for bargaining. The Newari food that’s unlike any will be savored.  Just being home, by someone who loves you so much could never be a bad option.  My dogs will be there to love me and to be loved.

I will probably work at a well-known intellectual company. I will meet all the knowledgeable people who care about Nepal genuinely. I will try to stay away from those who only want more money. I will hang out with people who care less about the money, but want to help the have-nots; be it by advocating for policy changes or by having their own non-profit organization.  I am still very naïve in regards to money. I loathe those whose sole aim is to stockpile money, but I understand where they’re coming from. They probably grew up disadvantaged and see the value of money. They might just want to have a good future for their kids.Or they want to live without struggle and enjoy their short time as a human being in basic comfort or luxury.

I will not get married, despite the pleas from my parents. I will do so when I feel like, or when I meet someone good. I will not care about the society that gossips about those who are unmarried. I will travel throughout the country.  I will meet and learn about what people less privileged than me value. I will learn from them and then bring my education into good use by helping them.

Teenage photography: Kalanki, Kathmandu

 I have valued my country more, now that I am away from it. So I want to go back and make it better someday. Only, I am a little afraid to jump to that route because the route I am in now is full of welcoming open doors.  Once I go through every door, I will go to my twisted but sweet heaven.