Showing posts with label women. Show all posts
Showing posts with label women. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

On women leadership

Wrote this a few months ago.


The sun is shining finally after a cloudy morning. People are gathering in the school premise. There is a chautari in the middle and chairs lined up right next to it. There is a big table and some sturdier chairs behind them. At the front, like a temporary amphitheater audience space, lie benches. It’s the day of the selection of the School
Management Committee (SMC) members.

In the benches, men and women segregate in four columns. Women in two and men in two. They are the parents of our school children, here to witness the selection of parent representatives of the SMC. Immediately I am reminded of how this resembles the girls and boy’s seating behavior is class. In the podium space, I see men gathering. In the audience, I wonder which parents to approach first. More so I am confused as to whether to approach women or men. Women seem like a safer bet and I go talk to them. 

After trying hard to find a way to ask in the politest way possible, I come up with general ice breakers: “Namaste. Kata dekhi aunubhayo? tapai kasko abhibhawak ho? Tapaiko naani ko ho?” (Where do you live? Whose parent are you?)

“When does this start Miss? I was on time but I have been here for two hours and I am still waiting.” A woman asks me. I tell her that we need more attendants so we are waiting. We talk about her children and their performance in class. I walk about and repeat the routine with more parents. I try to identify whether I teach their children or not. There are some confused faces. Some happy and excited faces. 

Another woman tells me, “It is hard for a single parent like me to be a member of the SMC. I have a shop. I have to work both at home and in the shop for my kids and I cannot get involved outside of that.”

I dare not approach men for a while and sit with the women. But eventually I talk with two friendly looking men. One of them was a tenth grader’s father. We had a nice chitchat. Someone yelled to him, “Aren’t you going to join in as an SMC candidate?” He laughed it off. He later shared that he was going to compete in an SMC of a school much closer to his house where his other child studied.

I meet more parents. Two women turn out to have their girls in my class. I tell them how they have improved. It was a jolly conversation and I led them to the benches. I found out later that they were also candidates. I was happy and hopeful that their leadership interest would trickle down to their daughters.

There are speeches, rules, selection procedure...Three hours and some chiya guff with my colleagues later, there's some conclusion. They have selected women candidates for the SMC. These women share that some were coerced into giving up by other largely male leaders. They caved in because they thought they couldn't commit to all the meetings as they have all the household chores on their plates. Then they pride themselves for being quicker than men. Then they talk about how the men lead their selection process. Then it’s about how they should choose two more women because the men candidates are not being able to make a decision. They pride themselves again for not fighting and coming to an understanding. They also talk about how the SMC president should be a woman, just like the country's.  

Current President of Nepal was appointed amid the cries over the dissatisfaction with the citizenship rights provision for women. Some sources reported that the President herself said that Nepal is not ready for such rights. Seeing women feel empowered about the appointment of the woman president here firsthand was some sort of a relief. In the local level, since elections have not been held, there is not much record of the impact of local government officials who are women. In the lack of local activism and elections, the SMC seemed to have provided a stage for competition between parties. It was good to see the presence of women in such stage. As the day turned to night, most of the women were gone. Because I was ill, I had to leave too. But I heard that the men agreed on their candidate after a few more hours.
I am thankful that the day gave me an exclusive glimpse into how women candidates were selected for an important local committee position. I saw women being 'assisted' by men when they are trying to make a decision for themselves. I also saw some strong women who held their ground. I am yet to see what change they will bring. But for schools all over Nepal, could the appointment of women SMC members help move a step closer to reducing the gender gap?

Saturday, August 20, 2016

Superpowers?

I wrote this six years back. As an older woman, I experience less of these roadside insults. When I read this, apart from finding myself so cute and naive, I can see that little has changed. Women and girls are still harassed in public situations. We still cannot be out of our homes too late at night. Men continue to gang up around concession stores and measure our heights, face, body, etc. I really appreciate Code for Nepal's campaign to bring light upon this issue of street harassment. Especially the data they will collect from their open survey, will help hear so many voices and use them to guide our policymakers. Yes, I am also hinting at you Madam President!



Superpowers!

No, its not about Spiderman or Superman; it’s about the women, or rather the girls of Kathmandu. Girls like me who love to live and enjoy. Girls like me, who wish they had superpowers to bring the uncouth boys, who just don’t mind minding other’s business, down to earth. Everywhere I see and experience boys picking on girls. Right from the so called “khalasis” (public vehicle conductors) to boys in reputed college uniforms, they do not miss on the opportunity when any girl passes by. Words like abbui, kaanchi sangai jauna (lets go together), sannanni (small girl) and aahaa (wow) are commonly used. These don’t seem much annoying in English but the way they say it and that in Nepali is so offensive. These are just the general terms. Go to Basantapur or any place as such and be prepared because what you are about to hear is something you are not able to digest. Some girls may find this amusing but this is an issue. It’s about dignity and public security and freedom. We girls are decent and cautious which is why every time such things happen we don’t try to argue or use similar words. And who knows first they tease and then take some other steps. Something needs to be done.

When these silly boys tease me I get so huffy. Not just because they blurted out bad but also because of my own inability to do anything. I can’t just go out there and call them names because what follows after that is a series of more bad. So if only I had powers I would be able to do something like slapping them from far or kicking them or spanking them. I could make them say things about themselves. I could make them embarrass themselves and get then to realize how it felt. Here are some of the many incidents that would justify the reason for this craving in me.

I am on my way home after sitting for SLC. Holi is in the air and the water balloons are flying like jets. I dodge a few and get hit by another few. A modified racing bike with two decent looking boys (maybe in their pre-twenties) comes from somewhere. And before I blink the man at the rare looks straight to me and bluntly shoots a water gun into my face! I stand there as I watch him go sneering at me and smirking. I am like shocked and trying to comprehend what just happened.

Isn’t that so humiliating and cheesy? If I had powers I could just blow my breath out and send the bike and its occupants zooming in the air and crashing into the deep and dirty ditch. That’s an evil thought but I cannot help it. I wish I could be invisible and punish those who harass women anytime anywhere. They call it fun and we call it torture. Man, they twist and turn their body in such a weird fashion simply to get in physical contact with any women passing by. I have specialized in escaping many of those, but it’s not that easy. With super powers I could create a protective shield around me so that no-one could do anything. I could seize their pleasure and avoid any uncomfortable situations. I want to teach these people a lesson you see. Make each one realize the anguish of the other and forbid them not by words but by action. The former in today’s world is just so useless.

To sum up all of us are in dire need. A well behaved city or simply “superpowers” would suffice.







Monday, November 3, 2014

Random ways to act out your feminism

Female version

Enter the 'men's world' such as construction, engineering, transportation, politics and cunningly slide in policies and designs that come from the women's perspective, which is nothing dramatic because, yes we think of all genders, not just men.

Don't say anything to men who say women and men are not equal. (You secretly know that you are much much smarter, have you heard their conversations with each other?)

The one that everybody fears: Be so vocal about equality among the genders that you get death threats. Drink wine every day to pray for the haters.

Find a partner who actually appreciates you as just that, a partner, no gender versions and roles needed.

Love Malala.

Bring all women together towards ending gender-based violence, abuse, assault, attack, prejudice.

Get smart about how to help our world be equal, gender-wise, before you die.

Remember, it has been a struggle, but  what we have so far is an accomplishment (a lousy one. but still something). Always remember to take advantage of what you have.

Be independent. Help your other half in mowing the lawn or fixing that toilet.

If you have children, give them a non-gendered learning environment.

Women, be each other's support. Share wisdom and okay, fine, some DIY tips.


Male Version

Yes, do not expect your girl to cook for you just because your mom used to, instead of your dad.

Take both your son and daughter to that Packers game. Tell their school to have a co-ed  football team.

Love your uber feminist woman. Don't misinterpret feminism. It's not superiority, It's equality and creating an atmosphere for equal opportunity.

Do a favor and try not to call women 'Dumb'.

Never let her talk to you in a voice lower than she actually has.

Dress nice, cook, clean like she does, together.

You and your video-games: If you  are a family person or want to have one, please allocate certain times for it. (Probably only 0.000001% of your week.) Unless the whole family plays video-games 50% of their week.

Support her career and aspirations as much as she does for yours. Also, ask her how her work was just like she asks you everyday.

Be best friends with your sister.


Disclaimer: I am certainly not an expert. But this topic is sensitive to me, growing up in a society that is extremely male-dominated. Feel free to add in your own ways that help get the point across.

This blogpost was inspired by this video clip:

http://thecolbertreport.cc.com/videos/wr7hqq/gamergate---anita-sarkeesian