Personally, I came to USA because I
was tired of the conservative society. I thought I was better than most of my
countrymen. Our ideologies didn’t match. Also, USA looked much more liberal. It
looked like it was the right choice for me because I thought, maybe people
there will think like me. This was my nineteen-year-old mindset.
Three years down the line, USA is
no more that wondrous place that everybody wanted to fly to. It is normal than
ever. Dull and exciting things happen here. I have grown a lot and seen how a
developed world is functioning. I have
seen many of its perils and many of its glories. Nepal, my original country is
now a symbol of escape. The very place I was so eager to leave has now
become my major identity. It is now that little locked up heaven that I want to
go back to when the time comes, for a little while or longer.
But I know the heaven is a
quasi-heaven. I will be succumbing into the old ways and perils of a developing
world. Still I miss the familial air. I know the roads will be dusty, crowded
and noisy. I will be eve-teased like I used to ever since I was an adolescent. My
relatives will ask me how much money I made in USA. They will think I am a fool
to be pursuing liberal arts major.
There will be water shortage in the
house and I will lose the luxury of spending hours in the bath. The electricity
austerity program a.k.a Load-shedding will prevent me from my endless Facebook
and twitter browsing. I will be making
tea for my dad at least twice a day; helping mom mop the floor so that it
relieves her of knee pain.
But still there will be those hills
that surround my city to wake up to. They look and smell even better after a
night’s rain. There will be the little and big shops and stalls in every street
that put forward many food options. The shopping stores allow for bargaining.
The Newari food that’s unlike any will be savored. Just being home, by someone who loves you so
much could never be a bad option. My
dogs will be there to love me and to be loved.
I will probably work at a
well-known intellectual company. I will meet all the knowledgeable people who
care about Nepal genuinely. I will try to stay away from those who only want more
money. I will hang out with people who care less about the money, but want to
help the have-nots; be it by advocating for policy changes or by having their
own non-profit organization. I am still
very naïve in regards to money. I loathe those whose sole aim is to stockpile money,
but I understand where they’re coming from. They probably grew up disadvantaged
and see the value of money. They might just want to have a good future for
their kids.Or they want to live without struggle and enjoy their short time as a human being in basic comfort or luxury.
I will not get married, despite the
pleas from my parents. I will do so when I feel like, or when I meet someone good. I
will not care about the society that gossips about those who are unmarried. I
will travel throughout the country. I
will meet and learn about what people less privileged than me value. I will
learn from them and then bring my education into good use by helping them.
I have valued my country more, now
that I am away from it. So I want to go back and make it better someday. Only,
I am a little afraid to jump to that route because the route I am in now is
full of welcoming open doors. Once I go
through every door, I will go to my twisted but sweet heaven.
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| Teenage photography: Kalanki, Kathmandu |
