Role of women

A quiet lunch at home paved way to my encounter with the play Madhavi. The lunch guest who recommended the play appeared to not like feminists, but at the same time appreciated the message of this play. The message revolves around the role of women. So, I went to Shilpee theatre one fine evening and watched the play with an intention to write about it. I have not watched a lot of plays but I really liked the actors in this one. The lead characters Galav and Bishwamitra really owned their roles. However, I am apprehensive about Madhavi's performance. Her delivery seemed a bit monotonous. Still the role involved a lot of variations and she pulled them off quite well.

The concept of the play is set during the Mahabharata ages but juxtaposed with the setting of traditional Nepali kingship of the middle ages. The lighting and the stage use is exemplary. 

Now the elephant in the room is the main theme – role of a woman. Madhavi gets passed around men – her father, her lover Galav, the three kings for whom she's fated to give birth to 'Chakarawarti Rajas' and finally the guru Biswamitra. There is a conversation between Madhavi and Galav where Galav criticizes how women don’t have any ambitions and any knowledge of responsibilities.  Madhavi questions how birthing children or supporting her lover's ambitions are not considered responsibilities. This particular dialogue makes the audience think about the current situation of women. We are still supporting our father's duty to get us married. Once we are married, we are supporting our husband and children's goals. Is that a way of taking on responsibility or are we shirking away bigger goals such as running the nation or becoming  a school principal?

I would like to link this to what many of my lady friends are experiencing – pressure to get married. Now that we have finished college, a lot of our parents want to give us away.  We have to fulfill the duty of being a daughter and move on to becoming a wife. In this transfer of roles, sometimes, us women's goals and ambitions are forgotten.  Getting married appears as if it is a huge duty to fulfill, while our own goals are considered secondary. What if tables are turned? What if we work towards our aims and ambitions while our men support us relentlessly to reach those goals? 

Times have changed and many traditions. For example arranged marriage has been loosened up to 'arranged-love marriage.' But why is there a pressure to fulfill these roles that many of us don’t want to take up? Why are women considered a burden (however subtly) to be married off in this day and age in educated households?  This is the situation in educated households, so how can we expect the situation to change in the households of poor and illiterate families?

In the name of ladies in their twenties, I would like to urge our Nepali parents to just let your girls be. Let them see the world, make and break their own decisions, and take up responsibilities of reaching their own aims and ambitions. How about that for a change? As my girlfriend and I toast with our cocktails in a bar in Thamel during happy hour, here's to making our own decisions!